SheGulls take out the 2017 Womens Premiership

Congratulations go to the SheGulls in taking out the 2017 Womens Minor and Major Premierships with a thrilling win against arch-rivals Wanneroo at Tompkins Park.  An incredible victory after a stellar season for the SheGulls, doing the two blue proud as the only grade making it through to grand finals. 

A poetic summary of the game courtesy of Bones O'Conor (as presented at the Blue Ball):

Cottesloe SheGulls. 2017 Grand Final Champions.
The 20th day of August was Pindan Grand Final Day
The highlight of the club Rugby year here in WA
We headed down to Pally , some cracking games to see
Hoping to see the Cott Shegulls record a victory.

The Gulls were the sole finalists to represent the Blues
Oh please Shegulls beat Wanneroo, I don’t want you to lose
Last year you lost the final, the Divas came up trumps
Come on Shegulls , ignore the pain, the bruises and the bumps
The day was fine, the sod was dry,the warm up is completed
In an hour we’ll know which team has won and who has been defeated.

Hamish Miller blows the whistle, the game starts off at pace
Wanneroo are up for this , they are right in our face
Brett said to us before the game “ For 10 minutes , I think
They will throw everything at us, except the kitchen sink”

They work us through the phases, our defence cannot do more
But eventually a gap appears, and they’re in for a score
Thankfully, the kick is missed,its five points on the board
Now it is our first real chance to put them to the sword.
We pressure hard, we own the ball,we show them all our tricks
Tash then nails a three pointer right in front of the sticks.
Then joy oh joy, we break their line, Stacey scores a try
Mhicca nails the convert, 20 minutes have gone by.

The Ruck has stamped on Anto’s head,the ref shows a red card
To the big Wanneruvian, who may also get barred
Anto is a tough nut and she gets back to her feet
She is so determined Wanneroo will taste defeat.

Wanneroo have big girls ,Game of Thrones is only one
And whoever christened Pink Boots must have a sense of fun.

Wanneroo roar back at us just before half time
Our best defence cannot stop them from breaking our try line.
The kick is good, it’s 10 to 12, the leads with Wanneroo
We break to hear what Brett is going to tell us what to do.

He says “You need to get the ball out quickly to our backs
They are like greased lightning and I know they’ll find the cracks.”

The second half starts well for us ,Stacey makes a break
She passes it to Katie Barnes, who won’t make a mistake
Barnesy is a flier and now she stays out wide
She’s forced out to the touchline, but she stays just inside
And touches down, this gives poor Tash one of her hardest kicks
But she strikes the ball beautifully,it flies between the sticks.

17 to 12- we lead again- that was a brilliant kick
Wanneroo attack us straight away, our defence must be slick.
But they have some big bitches, who are hard to bring down
They score another try, Brett’s face is scrunched up in a frown
The kick is missed, the game is tied, the next score may just win it
I had to take a toilet break but was back in a minute.

Wanneroo are flying now,they’re asking every question
Pink Boots gets the ball and she bowls over Sophie Preston
We can’t stop her, she’s like a tank, she scores another try
Although the converts missed, I thought this game had passed us by.

But just like the seagulls who will always sh#t on you
Our Shegulls were determined now to sh#t on Wanneroo

And in the final seconds ,Stacey makes a great line break
And passes it to Tash, whose through, touch it down for fuc#ks sake
But Tash runs on towards the posts, this girl does not give up
It just needs a conversion now for Cott to win the cup.

She settles back, the ball she strikes, her kicking has been great
Between the sticks, the flags are raised, it’s time to celebrate
We shout and sing,we’ve won the thing, we’ve beaten Wanneroo
After the game we loudly sing “ We’re blue because we’re blue.”

Your achievement in being champions, was not matched by the men
Coz you won the final sponsored by Alcohol Think Again
The team has got some sponsors so I would like to thank
Monford who provide services that will not break your bank
Lotus Beauty in Kardinya will keep you looking well
Rob Harper’ll sort your muscles out when they begin to swell.
The referee had a good game,he let the game flow by
But I thought some Wanneroo tackles were just a bit too high.
I’m so pleased that Tash was here and not at the World Cup
Coz she was Player of the Game , she stitched the Divas up.

At the Kangaroo Court apres match, the fines were quite severe
They mostly required the culprit just to go and buy more beer
One of the men had promised that he would dance in the nude
If you won,he did and no one thought that it was rude

When you talk to Coach Brett Holloway, you all suffer from amnesia
By calling him South African when he thinks he’s from Rhodesia
And what are you thinking Zelna when you see what he’s dressed in
The white polo-neck jumpers belong in the rubbish bin .

Replacement manager Tammy Foster – you know that she’s knocked up
No way was she going to miss out seeing you girls lift the cup.
Mhicca is a hairdresser, she works upon your head
When she clashed heads with Frenchy, I thought poor Popo was dead.
My favourite player in the team ,and folks I tell the truth
Is the loose head prop forward, Irish Bra Lady Ruth
And competition on the sideline was also plain to see
Between the water carriers- that’s Oscar and Trinity .

Well done the team and to the bench and all those in the squad
The management and Brett, who sometimes thinks that he is God.

You are a mix of nations,our token Pom is Kate
We’ve also lots of Aussies here –they call their besties mate
The Kiwis all talk funny, they call a deck a dick
And it’s usually the Paddies who are first to take the mick
The Maple Leaf of Canada’s here and some from La Belle France
They all helped last Sunday to lead the Divas a merry dance.
Two others are missing so I briefly want to mention
Mav and Orlagh who are in Ireland as they couldn’t stand the tension. 
I want to shout out one more bloke, an Irishman of course
Congrats to Shane O’Neill for trying to save the Western Force.

So its hard luck to the Divas, they played a super game
Well Done Shegulls, next year just give us some more of the same.
Folks please stand up,raise your glass of wine or glass of beer
And toast the Shegulls who are WA champions this year.